


Quono It's Tribble Time

by MrLesleyChoyce



Series: Written Before Researched [7]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Among Us References, Crack, How Do I Tag, Kissing, M/M, Spock is a Little Shit (Star Trek), Star Trek References, Tribbles (Star Trek), but only like a sentence of it, no beta we die like everyone at the end of the tribble episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:53:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27122086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrLesleyChoyce/pseuds/MrLesleyChoyce
Summary: Quark goes in to open his bar for the day only to find it full of tribbles. Who could have put them there?
Relationships: Odo/Quark (Star Trek)
Series: Written Before Researched [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1475639





	Quono It's Tribble Time

It was a day like any other on the unspecified space station located in space, Captain Jim Kirk was captaining away, Data was… being Data, and our beloved Ono was contained within his bucket of a bed and thinking about Quark, again. You see, Ono had absolutely no respect for his lover Quark neither of them would have it any other way. That was their relationship dynamic.

Quark, on the other hand had no time to think of Ono because he was locked in battle with a pile of rapidly multiplying tribbles piled high up to his chest. He had walked into his bar that day intent on having a good day, at least until he came face-to-face with a large, getting larger, mountain of tribbles piling out the door like a Canadian trying to leave the house after a snow storm in the middle of winter.

Much like any sensible put together person like Quark was, he spewed out a loud string of curses while attempting to swim his way out of the pile which quickly proved futile and only got him dragged deeper within the fuzzy pool.

Hearing the foul language from afar, Jim Kirk hastily made his way towards the blasphemous sound and was treated to quite the sight. Quark struggling to make his way out of a giant pile of tribbles that just kept on growing making it harder and harder for him to move while the tribbles seemingly laughed at his misfortune. It wasn’t Quark though, that kept Jim staring at the scene before him, oh no, it was the tribbles. A variety of browns and greys, so fuzzy and delectable. They looked much better than the multi-coloured cubes he was so used to eating all the time. It made his mouth water just thinking of devouring them.

Quark had absolutely no clue what was happening. One second, he was suffocating to death, the next he was laying on the ground, surrounded by nothing but tribble fuzz that managed to escape the vacuous mouth of his captain. “what the absolute hell has just occurred?” Quark questioned to nobody in particular.

“Tribbles… they are delectable.” Jim Kirk said, reminiscing about the taste of the furry little soccer balls. He then noticed how Quark was there, staring at him in slight disgust while slowly inching away. So, Kirk decided to take his leave before things could get any more awkward than they already were.

Quark was then left alone in the station’s hallway surrounded by leftover fur and decided to go visit Ono to try and get over his trauma. He dusted himself off and headed out.

Ono was sitting in his bucket, just being the super fun and interesting guy that he was when Quark burst into the room. “The most awful thing in the world has just happened to me!” He announced loudly. “I was suffocating to my death, drowning in tribbles, when the captain showed up out of nowhere and swallowed them up whole!”

“That is quite interesting, but you see, I don’t care.” They then kissed each other hard on the lips for 10 minutes before Quark had a thought.

“Wait,” He said, pondering for a moment before continuing. “Who even put the tribbles in my bar in the first place?”

“Hmm, that is the first good question you have asked in the time I have known you.”

“Thanks.” Quark deadpanned. “But now that the question has been asked, the answer needs to be found and I will be the one to find it. The first thing we need to do is rule out who it could not be and move on from there.”

“Great, and while you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and go back to my peace and quiet.”

“Oh no, you’re coming with me.” Quark lifted the bucket Ono had retreated into and exited the room out into the halls of the space station. “Well, it can’t be the captain, so we can rule him out. Spock is sus as hell, but he always is.”

“I say they just magically appeared, and we call it a day.” Ono had once again exited his bucket to walk beside Quark. “Now can we please stop this nonsense?”

“Not until we find the culprit.”

As they rounded the corner into another room, the two spotted Jim Kirk, surrounded by boxes upon boxes of tribbles that were overflowing all over the room. “Uh… it’s not what it looks like?”

“YOU!” Quark shouted as he stuck an accusing finger out at his captain. “It was you all along! How could it be? Why did you fill my bar with these vile creatures?!”

“You see, I just had so many of these delectable tribbles that I didn’t know where to put them, and since your bar is close by to my tribble breeding farm, I thought it might be a good place for them.”

“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, that is MY bar, I own it and you can’t just be throwing tribbles in it whenever you please!”

Ono was watching the two argue from the doorway, uninterested in the quarrels of his lover and their idiot captain. He decided to slip out unnoticed with his bucket back to his room for some more of that sweet, sweet, quiet.

“Well, I’M the captain of this ship so what I say goes and I say more tribbles!”

“I call an emergency meeting! We need Jim Kirk off this station!”

And thus, Jim Kirk was ejected into the endless vacuum of space. He didn’t suffer long, quickly succumbing to the cold and suffocating to death. Little did the others know, though, that Jim Kirk was the only thing stopping the tribble population board the space station from growing to unstoppable levels and bursting the station open due to over-stuffing.

Everyone was ejected.


End file.
